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What is My Life Purpose?

The question I have been asked more than any other. Here are my top 12 things to know about life purpose, drawn from over a decade of coaching it.

What is My Life Purpose? | Adam Tallamy | Life Purpose Coach, London

Life purpose is one of those questions that everyone has a feeling about, but very few people can clearly articulate. Over more than a decade of coaching people through it, I have found that most people have some sense that it exists, and some sense that they are not living it. That gap, between where they are and where they feel they are meant to be, is what brings people to life purpose coaching.

So let me give you what I consider to be the most important and most useful things to understand about life purpose. Not textbook definitions. Real things learned through many years of life purpose practice both on myself and with hundreds of clients from all over the world. Things that will actually help you.

"Believe it or not everyone has a unique life purpose. It's always been there waiting for you to knock on the door, not to find it, but to finally be ready to receive it. Then when the time is right it'll drop in one day fully formed when you're on the bus, typically not in some ashram somewhere, although that can happen too."

1. Life Purpose Is Given Not Chosen

The most common misconception is that you can find your life purpose by choosing or deciding what you give purpose to. Examples of this could be the choice to support your family, raise great kids, help your church etc.

There's nothing wrong with that. Indeed, such choices can be admirable but they're probably not your life purpose. These are expressions of purpose, not purpose itself.

Your life purpose is something deeper and more enduring. When it comes to you it has a quality that's unlike anything else I've ever experienced. A deep knowing. A pang of excitement. An aha moment unlike any other.

2. Life Purpose Is Almost Always About Service

In my experience, life purpose is almost always about contributing to others in some way. It is rarely solely self-directed. The good news is, however, that it'll feel super exciting. You won't feel burdened by it at all.

The people who seem most at peace with their lives, most alive, are those whose purpose connects their unique gifts to something that serves others. That service can take almost any form, from raising children well to building things to healing people to creating art. What matters is that it reaches beyond the self.

3. You Already Have One

Your life purpose is not something you need to create. It already exists. The work of life purpose coaching is uncovering it, not constructing it. I'd estimate that maybe 20% of people already know what their purpose is either consciously or unconsciously but it either feels too big, impossible or out of reach so they push it away.

For the rest, finding it requires inner work to firstly build strong internal foundations that can support something bigger for their life.

"Many people have been circling their life purpose for years. For whatever reason they couldn't see it."

4. Life Purpose Can Be a Bit Scary

Here is something that surprises a lot of people. When I help someone find their life purpose, they often feel simultaneously excited and afraid. That combination is one of the most reliable signals that we are onto something real. The fear usually comes from the gap between where they are now and what living their purpose would actually require of them. It asks you to grow. It asks you to be seen. That can be unsettling, even when it is right.

6. Life Purpose Is a Journey

Your life purpose is not a single fixed point you reach and then stop. It evolves as you evolve. It grows as you grow to be able to achieve the first and subsequent iterations of it. Just as you're not the same person you were at 25, when you become 45, so your expression of purpose will develop. What remains constant is the core of it. It's usually the scale that grows as you become more capable and ready to take more on.

7. Living Your Purpose Requires Work

Finding your life purpose is one thing. Living it is another. Most people need to do significant inner work before they can live their purpose fully. That work involves clearing the fears, the limiting beliefs, the wounds from the past that sit between where they are and where they are meant to be. This is why life purpose coaching is rarely just about purpose itself. It is about building the person who can live that purpose

8. There Is No One-Size-Fits-All

Your life purpose is entirely yours. No book, no test, no formula can give it to you. I have coached hundreds of people and I have never seen two life purposes that were the same, even when they looked superficially similar. The specificity of your purpose, shaped by your particular life, your gifts, your wounds, your experiences, is what makes it yours and what makes it powerful.

9. Life Purpose and Happiness Are Connected, But Are Not the Same Thing

Life purpose brings the zest and passion back into people's lives. It can also bring happiness but living your life purpose does not mean you will always be happy. Purpose gives your life meaning, and meaning can coexist with difficulty, loss, and struggle. In fact, people who are living their purpose often encounter more difficulty, not less, because they are taking on more. What changes is not the absence of difficulty. It is the presence of meaning that makes the difficulty worthwhile.

10. You Can Live Your Purpose Now, Wherever You Are

One of the most important things I tell clients is this: you do not need to wait until everything is in place before you start living your purpose. Purpose can be expressed in small ways, right now, within the life you already have. The full expression of it may take time to build. But you can start moving towards it today. In fact, that is the only way to build it

11. Life Purpose Gives You a Compass

When you know your life purpose, you have something to navigate by. Decisions that used to be difficult become clearer. Opportunities that used to confuse you become easier to evaluate. When you know what you are here to do and who you are here to be, a lot of the noise falls away. Purpose is not just inspiring. It is practically useful, every single day.

12. You Do Not Have to Figure This Out Alone

Finding and living your life purpose is some of the most important work you will ever do. It is also some of the most difficult. The inner landscape that needs to be navigated is complex. Having a skilled guide who has been there, who knows the territory, who knows where the hidden blocks tend to be, makes an enormous difference. This is why I do what I do. And it is why so many of my clients say that working with me was the most significant investment they have ever made in themselves.

"When you know your life purpose, you stop drifting. You stop wondering. You start building."

If reading this has stirred something in you, that feeling is worth paying attention to. Whether you are just beginning to explore this question or you have been circling it for years, I would love to help you find the answer that is right for you.

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Over a decade coaching people to find and live their life purpose across the UK and worldwide.
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Summary

12 Things to Know About
Life Purpose

01

Life Purpose Is Given Not Chosen

Not what you do. It is deeper than any job or role, and it endures when those things change.

02

Life Purpose Is Almost Always About Service

Almost always, life purpose reaches beyond the self. It connects your gifts to the world.

03

You Already Have One

It is not something you create. It is something you uncover. The clues are already in your life.

04

Life Purpose Can Be a Bit Scary

Excitement and fear together is a reliable signal. Purpose asks you to grow and be seen.

05

How Does Life Purpose Come?

For most it arrives as a literal download — a crystal clear sentence and a goosebumps-provoking knowing. Often when you're on the bus, not in an ashram.

06

Life Purpose Is a Journey

Purpose evolves as you evolve. The core remains; the expression can change throughout your life.

07

Living Your Purpose Requires Work

Finding it is one thing. The inner work of becoming the person who can live it is another.

08

There Is No One-Size-Fits-All

Your purpose is entirely yours. No test or template can give it to you. It must be found from within.

09

Life Purpose and Happiness Are Not the Same Thing

Purpose gives life meaning, not constant happiness. Meaning can coexist with difficulty.

10

You Can Live Your Purpose Now

You do not need everything in place. You can begin moving towards your purpose right now.

11

Life Purpose Gives You a Compass

Knowing your purpose makes decisions clearer and helps you filter what matters from what does not

12

You Do Not Have to Figure This Out Alone

Having a skilled guide who knows the territory makes an enormous difference to how quickly you get there.

Client Stories

What Clients Say About
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The work that we do together is profoundly powerful, and has not only led me to find my life purpose but also gave me the tools to be able to live out that purpose on a day to day basis. I feel lucky to have him to guide me through both the mental and spiritual work.
Antonia Producer, London & Los Angeles

In our first session he helped me find the root cause of my burnout. He found what could turn out to be my life purpose, something I've had recurring thoughts about for a while but it seemed so unrealistic. Excited to see where this goes!

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